The Traveling Spouse with Three Degrees member-Valerie Holiday
Relationship Boosters Podcast Episode 8
Target Audience: Couples in Long Distance Relationships or Frequently Traveling for work
Objective: To give information about what things are helpful when you are or have a traveling spouse?
*My marriage is Bi-coastal and international. My husband resides in UK, England and I’m in USA, Atlanta.
*I’ve been married 3 times. I am a firm believer of the institution of marriage. I knew there was somebody out there who could deal with me and my lifestyle, and it wasn’t going to wreak havoc on the relationship, because they were going to be understanding.
*1st marriage lasted 7 yrs, I have son who is 33 from that marriage; 2nd marriage only lasted 2yrs there were too many differences.
Currently married 10 yrs but together 14-15yrs
Tips For Relationship and Marriage:
*When you become involved with someone on a permanent basis, you must accept them for who they are as they must accept you for who you are.
*Don’t go into marriage thinking that when you get married you’ll change them.
*You must work on the relationship. If you want it to last, you should invest time, effort energy, and patience. It’s not always 50/50. You might end up with the messy stick most of the time; It may be ok, since you don’t end up with it all the time. A relationship is give and take.
Recommendations to help when you’re apart:
*Make time for each other- Skype has been an absolute blessing
*Call each other to say good morning or good night.
What are things you should plan for when starting a Long Distance relationship:
*Finances are important
*Put money aside for travel
*Plan days off around each other’s schedule
How do you plan to depart from each other?:
-Slip a love note in a bag
-Leave message on the mirror that can be seen when it fogs up
-Get a card
Behaviors or things to avoid:
*Avoid insecurity- If you travel frequently, a secure relationship is needed.
*Avoid Distrust- Develop trust in each other.
*Avoid Poor Communication- Make sure you talk and listen to each other.
*Don’t be lazy!-It takes time and effort to make it work.
*Have conversation and make the effort to communicate
*Find a way to state a complaint or what’s bugging you
*Figure out each other’s moods
*Don’t go to bed angry
*It’s all about working together
*Support each other in whatever it is that you each want to do.
Benefits to being in a long distance relationship:
*Distance allows you to take a break and rethink what you’re arguing about and see it from the other’s point of view.
*We overdose on love when we are together, because we miss touching each other when we’re apart.
How do you deal with people who are attracted to you while working?
*Keep distance maintained with others.
*State that you’re in a relationship.
*Don’t give your spouse a reason to feel disrespected when they are around. Keep to the same pattern even when they’re not around.
What’s the main thing that has made your relationship a success?
*Communication and Patience
*Recognizing we’re two different personalities
*I’ve got his back and he has mine
Parenting Together as a Team
Relationship Boosters Podcast Episode 7
Successfully navigate the world of parenting together.
How to successfully co-parent with your partner
The best time to begin discussions about developing a parenting style is prior to having children, and this should be revisited over time.
Having discussions about parenting is extremely important. In many relationships, these discussions never occur. The failure to address parental differences can ultimately lead to serious problems in your relationship. If you recognize that you have not had this discussion, and you’re in a serious relationship, this is the time to begin having conversations about parenting.
Remember, it’s never too late to have these important discussions, and ongoing discussions about parenting is essential.
You can work find out more about Bynia Reed through her website: www.centeredsupport.com
The resources she provided are as follows:
Chats with Monika: How to make your blended family work
Tips to Be Successful as a Blended family
o Make decisions together.
o How do you perceive your role as a parent of the child? You and your partner should have a conversation about this topic.
o Don’t throw mistakes in your partner’s face.
o Talk about what is not working, and how you can work to change those things that are not working.
o When you don’t say anything, it may bring about uncomfortable feelings. Be open to allowing conversation.
o Bring the children in and allow them to take part in the conversation. Allowing children to express feelings and not have penalties for their feelings can be a gift.
o Model respect by expressing your feelings without being disrespectful. Use this as a teaching moment.
o This is the child’s parent, so be careful when having conversations around the children
o Show respect toward the biological parent. Do not make negative statements about their parent. Control yourself and your emotions.
o Allow your household to be a peaceful place by not allowing the other parent “to walk around in your house.”
Episode 5: Let’s Talk About Sex!
Boosting Your Sex Life With Carol-Ann Trotman
Sex is a topic that many couples do not speak about; however, this is a topic that needs to be addressed. Discussing sex and topics related to sex can help you better enjoy your sex life. Not talking about sex in your relationship can hinder your relationship in many ways; you are preventing yourself and your partner from having more satisfaction in your sex life.
Many couples share that they do not begin a discussion about sex due to fear of hurting their partner’s feelings; however, even if you do not bring up your concerns, you may still be sending off negative non-verbal messages to your partner.
How to begin conversations about sex and sexual pleasure.
Sex conversations should be ongoing. Make time to have a conversation regarding sex.
Sex is a topic that you or your partner may experience anxiety talking about; therefore, make the conversation comfortable. Take risks in your relationship, be vulnerable.
Tips To Assist With Sex and Sexual Exploration
Do research on your own to better explore how to enhance your sex life. You can also do research with each other to facilitate more discussion.
When having discussions about sex, remember to make it fun not tense.
If you are continuing to experience difficulty, you can always seek counseling services. In a counseling environment, you can get help with further exploring your sex life.
IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, PEOPLE SEEK HELP.
Carol-Ann Trotman suggested the following book:
Esther Perel; Mating In Captivity. In this book; she addresses emotional intelligence and understanding your own and your partner’s ideas about sex.
If there are topics that you would like to hear on the podcast, send your emails to firstname.lastname@example.org