Episode 4

Dating is something that should occur in every stage of the relationship

Dating and Date night is quality time together to enhance your relationship. Think of date night as intentional play!

• The National Marriage Project has a report called The Date Night Opportunity. They found that couples who devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not devote much couple time to one another.
• Date night is one of the many ways to improve maintain or enhance your relationship. It is one of the things that keep couples connected.
• A successful relationship does not just happen on its own. There are things that must be done to further enhance the relationship to keep it new, fresh, and exciting.
• Date night is not time to have a stressful conversation.
  • Don't have conversations about finances, responsibilities, problems with the kids, or sensitive issues.
    • You need to talk about these things, but not during a date.
  • Date night is about enjoying each other.

The most common reason that many couples don’t have date night

• I don’t have time.
• I’m too exhausted.
• My job keeps me so busy.
• I am preoccupied with the kids, and their activities.

There is NO legitimate excuse that will make your partner feel good about being neglected. These excuses send the message that my partner or my relationship is not a priority. Ask yourself, Is your relationship, partnership, marriage worth it?

When picking a date night activity ask yourself these questions:

What can we do that will allow us to engage in deep conversation?

How can we enjoy each other’s company?

What is an activity that we can have fun together?

Is there anything new that we can get ourselves into?

Dating does not always have to be expensive. We have listed some date night examples:

1. Hot air balloon
2. Couples massage
3. Camping
4. Be a tourist in your own town for the day
5. Amusement park

If you are looking for an event, you can always check out our upcoming events. Follow the link http://therelationshipboosters.com/events/

Episode 3

The Blind Passenger

Melissa Tate-Scruse speaks about being a blind Passenger in your relationship.

The blind passenger is when you are on someone else’s emotional rollercoaster.

In a relationship, this occurs when one partner is struggling. The partner may be struggling with emotional instability, aggressiveness, alcoholism etc., and their partner is along for the ride.

• As the partner who is not struggling attempts to figure out what is going, he or she begins to become unbalanced; the partner is blinded by something.
  • Being blinded prevents this partner from recognizing the magnitude of the situation.
• While you are blinded, you are losing your peace, state of mind, and stability.
• Blindness does not allow you to make rational decisions. People are blinded by love, hope, dreams, loyalty etc.

How to get off of the rollercoaster

• Be informed. If you see that your significant other is experiencing difficulty, educate yourself.
• Go to counseling make an informed verses an emotional decision.
• Surround yourself with people who have your best interest and make generally good decisions.
• Listen to the concerns of friends and family members. They may see things from another perspective. Listening does not mean that you share all the details about your relationship. Listening refers to taking their concerns into consideration. You can process whether these concerns are legitimate independent of these individuals.
• • Being blinded prevents the partner from recognizing the magnitude of the situation.
  • Family might not be as blinded by the situation due to the fact they are not as emotionally involved.
  • • Family may not be as forgiving, so be careful about family involvement.
• Ultimately, you really need to have conversations with your partner. Bring problematic or difficult issues to the surface to prevent them from unknowingly running in the background.

In families, there are a lot of necessary conversations that are not happening that stimulate patterns of abuse, divorce, or alcoholism. Make sure that there is room for difficult conversations in your relationship.

Recognize when you fall in love with the potential or the idea of what your partner can be rather than the reality. This is when the reality of the situation does not match your vision. Know that you can’t change others, you can only change yourself.

For more information, you can check out the book Blind Passenger. The book goes into detail about Dr. Melissa’s personal experiences with being a blind passenger. She gives, you a front row seat to her internal struggle as a blind passenger. “She has had to literally and figuratively pick herself up from some raw and shocking situations.”

Episode 2

Interview with Dr. Pauline Belton Establishing Boundaries Boundaries are the cornerstone of any relationship Setting boundaries lets you partner know the things that are important to you. It allows your partner to know what you like and what you expect. It also allows your partner to know he things that make you feel uneasy. When Setting Boundaries Be open or honest about how your experiences shape your world. Share how your feelings have affected you. Communicate your needs to your spouse. Let your partner know the things that make you feel healthy happy and protected Look at your partner like he or she is the love of your life and not an obstacle in your life. This allows you to remain open to their perceptions. It will decrease the defensive response. Types of Boundary Pitfalls Disconnected: When one partner tends to set rigid type boundaries and emphasize self-sufficiency. One person feels “it is all about me.” Overstepping: One person prefers to be more in control in the relationship. The other person will sometimes just go along in an attempt not to cause any trouble. The controlling partner minimizes the boundaries or expectations of their partner. Merged boundaries: The line is blurred. This looks like the lack of individuality, and can lead to being unclear about what will happen in a relationship. Engulfing Boundary: One partner overshadows the other; Only their opinion counts. The assumption is that their partner should go with the flow. This will smother your partner Problems with not discussing boundaries When you don’t divulge the things that make you feel unsafe or insecure, problems can escalate. When you don’t talk, assumptions run free. Remember, the things that you are comfortable with may not be the same things that your partner is comfortable with. This can lead to one person developing frustration and not sharing with their partner, which can contribute to increased problems. You can begin to speak about boundaries at any point in your relationships. As you encounter life, boundaries may adjust; therefore, this needs to be an ongoing conversation. When speaking about boundaries, don’t dictate, have a conversation. Use “I messages” as opposed to you. For example, tell your spouse “I would like to talk about our day when you get home” Overall, Setting Boundaries allows you and your spouse to know what you want the relationship to look like. These boundaries help with establishing the foundation for your relationship.

Episode 1

Newlyweds: tips for after the wedding ceremony

Monika Cope of the Relationship Boosters provides tips and advice for those couples who have just been married.

After you spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, you need to ensure that you are also spending the same time and energy on the actual investment, your marriage. Listed below are some things to consider when moving into the next phase of your relationship.

• Planning for the wedding can take away from your focus on each other; therefore, you need to spend time intentionally connecting during and after the planning of your ceremony.
• Make your relationship a priority!
• Once you’re married, remember it is not just you anymore. You are a part of a team.
• Get to know each other by asking questions.
  • There are always new things to learn about your partner.
• Keep the excitement going by planning small trips and activities together.
  • Make sure you compromise by doing some things that your partner may like.
• Start difficult conversations by coming from a place of curiosity.
• Don’t not let the day to day distractions take away from your relationship

The real work begins when the wedding is all said and done.

This podcast is for those who are interested in improving their intimate relationship. If you are in a relationship, and believe in keeping the spark alive, this podcast is for you. For those couples who are dating, engaged, newlyweds, married, or in a long term relationship, we will focus on enhancing your intimate connection.

Dr. Kia James, will interview specialists, relationship coaches, marriage counselors, and successful couples to bring you tips, advice, and strategies for making your good relationship or marriage better. Of course, these tips can also benefit couples who are experiencing relationship stress. We will cover topics related to successful co-parenting, creating a healthy blended family, dating, sex, love, passion, supporting your partner, and much more. Nurture your relationship and avoid relationship road blocks. Tune in as we discuss relationship tips that will give your relationship that extra boost!