Protect Your Relationship

Relationship Boosters Podcast Episode 30

Chats with Monika and Kia

Affair Prevention

Don’t be the victim of an “After School Special” of relationships. You are not the exclusion to being in a relationship where an affair can occur.

What is an affair

An affair is Any external factor that comes between you and your partner. For the purpose of this podcast, the focus is on an emotional or sexual connection with another person.

Factors That Lead to an Affair

Stinking thinking is a set up for an affair. Your thought process will definitely leave a gap in your relationship for an affair to occur. There are a few mindsets that can leave your relationship especially vulnerable.

• Thinking that your vows are enough to save your relationship is not realistic. You have to regularly work on your relationship to continuously strengthen your bond.
• Putting your partner on a pedestal is a sure set up for failure. No one is perfect, and having unrealistic expectation of perfection can cause stress to your partner and your relationship. This can set your partner up to be secretive. When they are expected to be “flawless,” being able to discuss and be open about their flaws becomes more difficult.
• Believing that you could never have an affair is the ultimate set up. When you believe that you are the special human who is not vulnerable, you are more prone to allow yourself to engage in behavior that can get out of control quickly
  • Remember, just because you communicate your vows to someone does not mean that they will respect you or your vows. In fact, your “friend” may be waiting and plotting to get into a relationship with you.
• Avoiding confrontation and disagreements is a no-no. You and your partner need to have productive conversations to discuss problems in your relationship. The lack of open conversation will lead to relationship stress.

If you are in a relationship, an affair is possible. Protect your relationship today. Don’t wait for stress to attack your relationship and open the door to an affair. For more information on Affair Prevention, check out our Affair Prevention Webinar.

Criticism

Relationship Boosters Podcast Episode 29

Dr. Kia James

A Communication Killer

Criticism is not keeping it real, It is an attack of your partner.

• As opposed to stating that you have a concern, you attack your partner by stating that they have a character flaw.
• You tell your partner, “something is wrong with you.” as opposed to stating that you have a problem about a specific situation or event.
• The recipient of the criticism many times feels disrespected.
• Criticism shuts down communication
• Criticism many time starts with the statement you always or you never.
  • You always make a mess. You never take out the trash.
• Being critical leads to high level conflict

We all have complaints

I am not saying that you should not communicate your complaints. What I am saying is that you should not justify an attack of your partner due to you being dissatisfied with a situation.

• A complaint allows your partner to know what you like and don’t like.
• It opens the door for more communication.
• You are sharing facts about a specific event or a situation. Sticking to the facts helps.

Attack defend cycle

Being brutally honest without tact does not communicate that you are attempting to solve a problem. This type of critical communication many times puts your partner in a defensive place.  This derails the conversation and problems are not solved. 

Take responsibility for yourself and your behavior.  If you want to have effective communication, don’t begin a conversation in a way that will be unproductive.  If you need additional assistance, check out our mini-course Avoid Turning a Disagreement into an Argument.

More Resources

Don’t Miss The Couples Breakaway Cruise: Our upcoming cruise on the Norwegian Breakaway leaves from NY on September 17th - 24th. We will have a couple’s workshop, 3 DJ’s from NY, 5 Private Parties, All You Can Eat, All You Can Drink, and much, much, more.   The current price includes all gratuities, taxes, and fees. DON’T MISS THE BOAT!

Building Your Extraordinary Relationship: As relationship counselors and coaches, we have packages to help you improve your relationship. If your relationship is in need of a jump start or relationship repair, contact us and we will be glad to help with boosting your relationship.

Events Workshops and Retreats: “Improve Your Relationship & Have an Enjoyable “Couples Playdate” Retreat Style. We recognize the need for couples to continue to enhance their relationship. We host couples retreats and teach couples skills to enhance their relationship. We would love to see you at one of our upcoming events.

Thank You for Listening

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this week’s podcast.

If you enjoyed today’s episode, please share it with other couples, friends, or your partner using the social media buttons on this page.

Please consider leaving an honest rating and review for the podcast on iTunes.  This helps the podcast reach more couples who want to build an extraordinary relationship