Relationship Boosters | Couples | Marriage | Intimacy| Love | Family | Counseling | Marriage Advice | Healthy Marriage

This podcast is for those who are interested in improving their intimate relationship. If you are in a relationship, and believe in keeping the spark alive, this podcast is for you. For those couples who are dating, engaged, newlyweds, married, or in a long term relationship, we will focus on enhancing your intimate connection. Dr. Kia James, will interview specialists, relationship coaches, marriage counselors, and successful couples to bring you tips, advice, and strategies for making your good relationship or marriage better. Of course, these tips can also benefit couples who are experiencing relationship stress. We will cover topics related to successful co-parenting, creating a healthy blended family, dating, sex, love, passion, supporting your partner, and much more. Nurture your relationship and avoid relationship road blocks. Tune in as we discuss relationship tips that will give your relationship that extra boost!
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Relationship Boosters | Couples | Marriage | Intimacy| Love | Family | Counseling | Marriage Advice | Healthy Marriage


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Jun 13, 2017


Relationship Boosters Podcast Episode 29

Dr. Kia James

A Communication Killer

Criticism is not keeping it real, It is an attack of your partner.

  • As opposed to stating that you have a concern, you attack your partner by stating that they have a character flaw.
  • You tell your partner, “something is wrong with you.” as opposed to stating that you have a problem about a specific situation or event.
  • The recipient of the criticism many times feels disrespected.
  • Criticism shuts down communication
  • Criticism many time starts with the statement you always or you never.
    • You always make a mess. You never take out the trash.
  • Being critical leads to high level conflict

We all have complaints

I am not saying that you should not communicate your complaints. What I am saying is that you should not justify an attack of your partner due to you being dissatisfied with a situation.

  • A complaint allows your partner to know what you like and don’t like.
  • It opens the door for more communication.
  • You are sharing facts about a specific event or a situation. Sticking to the facts helps.

Attack defend cycle

Being brutally honest without tact does not communicate that you are attempting to solve a problem. This type of critical communication many times puts your partner in a defensive place.  This derails the conversation and problems are not solved. 

Take responsibility for yourself and your behavior.  If you want to have effective communication, don’t begin a conversation in a way that will be unproductive.  If you need additional assistance, check out our mini-course Avoid Turning a Disagreement into an Argument.

More Resources

Don’t Miss The Couples Breakaway Cruise: Our upcoming cruise on the Norwegian Breakaway leaves from NY on September 17th - 24th. We will have a couple’s workshop, 3 DJ’s from NY, 5 Private Parties, All You Can Eat, All You Can Drink, and much, much, more.   The current price includes all gratuities, taxes, and fees. DON’T MISS THE BOAT!

Building Your Extraordinary Relationship: As relationship counselors and coaches, we have packages to help you improve your relationship. If your relationship is in need of a jump start or relationship repair, contact us and we will be glad to help with boosting your relationship.

Events Workshops and Retreats: “Improve Your Relationship & Have an Enjoyable “Couples Playdate” Retreat Style. We recognize the need for couples to continue to enhance their relationship. We host couples retreats and teach couples skills to enhance their relationship. We would love to see you at one of our upcoming events.

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